I CHRONICLE THIS EVENT
A Christian Blog on Loss and Grieving
Death Is Never Satisfied, Week 7 of 8
emily ulman/5Aug25
Like having been snatched up into a massive tornadic event, jostled wildly about then slammed back into place. This is how I’m suddenly feeling, left reeling.
As the storm, the separation of death has brought to my life, is dissipating, with its depth of loss accompanied by mad stress and busyness, I find myself struggling. My life’s journey, it continues on. But this me of now – saddened, stung by death’s severe sting – is different from the me of before, who was carefully handling all of what came while tentatively preparing my heart for what was about to be. On this side of the storm, after observing death up close and personal, what I understand is this:
Death, it is “never satisfied”
God this to Habakkuk replied
In chapter II, verse V;
His observation, it too is mine
In death’s devious midst,
As I’m attended by my God in it,
This I record, this I inscribe.
Physically, I’m exhausted, spent. My energy is depleted. Mentally I’m foggy, a dense cloudiness presses in on my cognition, on my focus. Emotionally I’m off-balance, like a teetering is occurring between okay and not okay, on the constant. And spiritually, I know I need to process. In this, to my God, as the Psalmist, I too plead: How long O Lord?
For how many days will I feel this way? How long will it take in this recovery state?
When will my mental clarity again be of normalcy? Or energy, aplenty, return to me?
My thoughts lack concentration, my strength suffers depletion
Lord help me, offer Your right arm to me, stabilize me
While I rest in Thee, may I intake calm strength in Thee
And each day of this recovery, as You recuperate me, grow me
Enabled to in You keep going, knowing
As to the Psalmist, so too me: because of Your love for me, You bring delivery
Because it is You I know, and You I long to know
Because it is You I call upon, compassionately, mercifully, You do respond.
(see Psalm 91:14-15)
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