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A Christian Blog on Loss and Grieving
Of Significance, Week 8 of 8
emily ulman/12Aug25

In having personally experienced loss of both parents, suddenly of my dad, painstakingly of my mom, I’ve noticed something of significance. In losing my dad, there was an excruciating emotional pain. In losing my mom, the one from whose body my own body was birthed, there was also excruciating emotional pain, but so too an unexpected physical hurt unlike any I’ve known before. The severing of this maternal connection brought a fracturing, physically felt.

Some thoughts on healing from profound loss:

Faith is as vital as sunshine and fresh air. Yes, polluted darkness can be survived within, but cannot be thrived within.

Time spent remembering the good, reflecting on the positives in thankfulness, this is needed, without becoming stuck by grief’s paralysis, for moving forward is of necessity.

“For by what anyone is overcome, by this he is enslaved.” 2 Peter 2:19

As a broken bone requires time and patience for full healing, time and patience are needed in recovering from profound loss.

Blame, bitterness, negativity, anger, these all decay us from the inside. If we can simply reach a place of acceptance, without these negatives, we’ll be healthier, better for it.

“Whatever is true, …honorable, …right, …pure, …lovely, …of good repute, …any excellence,
…anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8

Lean on those who offer. If a support network is not at hand, find one. Family members, fellow church parishioners, coworkers, support groups; seek out the good ones.

It’s been said there are three things every person needs: someone to love, something to do, something to look forward to. In addition to faith, surrounding ourselves with these is a much needed self-care. Someone to love can include volunteering, something to do can include a hobby or serving others, something to look forward to can include a daily walk or conversation, an upcoming visit or trip, a season or holiday. Hope is essential, without it we are easily overcome by dark, dark thoughts, leaving us unwell, vulnerable.

Words on death by Fanny Crosby, beloved hymn author: “Since my childhood, death has simply seemed to me a steppingstone to something better.” “A passing into the glorious land.” When we’re able to see death simply, we can see it is not something to fear nor to resent. I recommend looking up Crosby’s beautiful lyrics to her hymn on death, Saved By Grace.

“Jesus answered, …Let not your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.”

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